The Pit of Depression

“I’m sinking, but it’s never quite deep enough to drown.”  -Denise Lobbs Marks-


“Come and crawl inside my pit.
Measure its width and breadth.
Tell me, who can escape its darkened depths?”
-Denise Lobbs Marks-

Over the weekend I happened to find a long forgotten folder filled with my writings from many years ago. I have no idea why I never noticed this folder before. Perhaps it wasn’t meant to be found until now. Opening the folder was much like opening Pandora’s Box; the contents contained some of the darkest moments in my life.

As I sifted through the pages, the hand writing itself indicated the writer was in a state of distress. Tears streamed down my face as I read my cries for help, the cries that no one ever heard; the outpourings that gushed from a crushed soul.

If you have never suffered depression, count yourself as one of the fortunate and don’t, for one minute, think it could never happen to you. No one, and I mean NO ONE, is exempt for the pit of depression.  It is powerful, real and arrives unannounced and without an invite.

“I watch helplessly as each drop of hope trickles onto the parched and barren ground beneath me.” –Denise Lobbs Marks-

There are so many things that can catapult us into the throes of depression. It might be divorce, death of a loved one, a failed business, lost income; it is an endless list of life situations, and we all react differently.

Knowing when to ask for help is critical.

Sadly, depressed people are often viewed as weak and unable to cope with daily life. But that isn’t true. Life is complicated and there are many situations that can leave us emotionally dead.

“Look closely and see the empty, lifeless eyes. They make a statement about a living death.” –Denise Lobbs Marks-

No one seeks to surround themselves with people when depressed. There is solace in aloneness and nothing screams aloneness more than depression. It is beyond difficult to reach out to others when all you want is for your flesh to dissolve into the dust from which it came. But those are the moments you need to reach out to someone you trust; someone who will listen without judgment, someone willing to be your sounding board.

“I know I exist externally because the breath of life warms my flesh and my heart pumps endlessly. Yet, my spirit, the life force needed to motivate my will and desires has vacated my body.” –Denise Lobbs Marks-

You are not alone.

Whatever life situation you face, be assured, you are not alone. When our life is parked on vacant land, and it seems everyone around us has lovely landscaped lots, think again. Many lives have been destroyed, broken and badly bruised. Hearts and souls have been buried beneath rubble when strong winds prevailed, but they refused to make their vacant lot a burial site.

I pray you never experience the pit of depression or the devastating repercussions of life changing events. May you spend more time building than repairing your life, and may sunshine follow every rain. Whatever you face, always entrust the help of others.

Never give up.

It was interesting that the very last item in the folder was somewhat of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Life is good and God’s mercy and grace is even better.

“I dream of laughter erupting within me like a volcano about to explode. I imagine it gurgling and churning­­, slowly at first, and then rising…rising… until the pressure can no longer be contained. It finally explodes with a gigantic force and the effect can be felt by all those around me.”  –Denise Lobbs Marks-



    • I can remember, right after my first brain surgery, whena lawyer said to me (I kept crying too easily) “listen you need to go take care of your depression first, then come back & see me”. I went home & sat there, thinking “depression? DEPRESSION? ??? ME?! MUAH??! DEPRESSION? ???? ME?! woooow”. I called & made appt & been on antidepressants since. When I’ve tried to go off in the past. I start crying. anything!
      So I won’t stop anymore. Evidently, my brain needs serotonin. ♥

  1. ” No one seeks to surround themselves with people when depressed.” That statement is so true. It’s just too much work to hold up your end of a conversation. Too hard to come up with the lies needed to keep people away. You just pretend your fine, that’s what people really want to hear anyway.
    I’m sorry you were in such a dark place Denise, your words were heartbreaking. I could feel your pain. Thank God you found the way out (Gods light) and the effects can be felt by all those around you.

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