I had to hide away today; I had to shelter my heart as I cried before the Lord. My friend is slowly dying with cancer and I won’t be able to say good-bye or whisper a final ‘I love you my friend’ in her ear and gently squeeze her hand to acknowledge that I am by her side.
The grief comes in waves like the tide of the sea. At low tide I give thanks that she is still here, at high tide I weep in silence as the waves wash over me with the knowledge her new home will soon be Heaven. I’m not sure whether to rejoice or lament.
And just like that she was given a sentence of death. Unexpected, determined by the hand of fate that life deals to us. Why me we ask; but why not is the other question. We are all appointed a time for everything, including death.
The Bible says, “Man’s days are determined; you (God) have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed.” (Job 14:5).
God has chosen to not answer all our questions about death. But without question, we will all die and when that happens will we be prepared for that day? My comfort comes in knowing that my friend has given her life to Christ and made a personal commitment to Him.
We can be comforted in death, by giving our lives to Christ and trusting Him to forgive and save us. Have you made your personal commitment to Him? When we know Christ, we can say, “My times are in your hands.” (Psalm 31:15).
So today, as I respond to the needs within our community, listen to the background noise of the boats on the lake, hear the sound of my husband’s voice on a work call and crave the hugs of my grandkids, I also prepare my heart for a time of mourning.
A dormant blanket of clouds hangs over me ready to shower down raindrops that will turn my joy into mourning at any given moment. Today my heart is heavy and weighted with sadness. But one day, like my friend who is nearing death’s door God will fulfill this promise:
“You have turned my mourning into dancing for me; You have taken off my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my soul may sing praise to You and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever.”
Psalm 30:11-12 (AMP)