God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. –Reinhold Niebuhr

Long before Facebook, I wrote a monthly newsletter for the cousins on my mother’s side of the family. We have all remained close in heart through the years, but separated by distance. The newsletter was a way to stay connected with each other and share memories from the past. It was a great idea until an aunt sent me a past memory to post in the newsletter.

I included her story in one of the newsletters. Shortly thereafter, I received a call from a family member who was offended by the story. They felt the writer had darkened the real truth. In anger and hurt this person was quick to accuse me of deliberate misrepresentation of the true story.

It seemed both the storyteller and reader had jaded memories of the published story. The real truth will never be known because neither person was willing to change their perception of the story. They chose to live in denial of the truth.

Sigmund Freud defines denial as:

A psychological defense mechanism used when a person is faced with a fact that is too uncomfortable to accept and rejects it instead, insisting that it is not true despite what may be overwhelming evidence.

Living in denial can be dangerous and can interfere with your ability to tackle challenges. When you refuse to acknowledge a stressful situation or problem and find ways to minimize potentially devastating long-term consequences, you are in denial.

It’s OK to say, “I can’t think about all of this right now.” Sometimes, we need time to work through and adapt to something that has happened or life changing circumstances. But, this should only be a temporary measure as we work toward the reality of the situation.

There are times in life when the truth hurts, makes us angry and forces us into denial. We run but can’t hide from the truth. Jesus makes it very clear that it is the truth that sets us free. It opens our eyes, ears and heart to accept those things we cannot change and to work through the challenges before us.

“So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32

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