And so it is, once again Friday is here. For many, it signals the start of the weekend with plans to head north to their family cottage or perhaps take a final boat ride before autumn comes to a close. My weekend is penciled in for laundry, fall yard clean-up and a birthday celebration; my own.
It doesn’t seem possible that the evolution of time has brought me to another birthday. Where did all the moments, days and months go this year? I don’t mind getting older (I turn 59 this year), in fact, I rather enjoy these age before beauty golden years; what I do mind is running out of time (and energy) to accomplish all the things I dreamed about in my youth.
My dream at age eight was to one day walk the runway of a Miss America pageant. In middle school I wanted to skate in the Olympics, or at the very least, skate in the Icecapades in a glamorous costume that sparkled under the lights. My high school years were filled with aspirations to be a best-selling author and write free verse poetry like Rod McKuen or become a songwriter like Joni Mitchell.
Of course, none of that happened. Instead, I married at eighteen and gave birth to a daughter three years later. Motherhood consumed my days and a long distance family support system left little time to focus on anything more than diapers, bottles and surviving on my husband’s USAF airman salary.
I didn’t finish my college degree until my early thirties. My career was just beginning, while others were already experiencing a lifestyle of the upwardly mobile working class. Throw a couple of divorces into the mix and my timetable of life accomplishments fell in arrears.
And so, on this 59th birthday weekend, I can’t help but reflect on my life journey thus far. I have succeeded above my circumstances in many ways, but certainly fallen short of my youthful dreams. Perhaps, time is the force that has shaped my obsessive, compulsion nature and drives me to prove to myself worthy; to who, I’m not sure.
God considered me so worthy that he died for me; that alone should be enough evidence of my worth; right? Absolutely! This weekend as I celebrate my birthday with family, I pray this scripture over my life:
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
2 Corinthians 12:9 (ESV)